Corazón

III.
I learned to forgive before I learned to speak / to turn
palms upward to God and my lover / to let a man ruin
me with his love / to call the ruins sacred / to uproot
everything and call the new place mine / to name the
nostalgia something sweet / a ripened fruit growing out of a dying tree

I asked myself how many times have I done this? and I realized I had lost count. I am a woman who insists on loving love, who always finds a way back to herself, back to being whole.

it all explodes all at once. I can’t breathe then. (the lungs are busy laughing too). my eyes spill a few drops of sky and I shake and shake and shake. I like myself best when I am laughing. bursting. all of me. the best of me

I laugh with all of my body.

all you have is the years
that are piling around you like dust
soon your heart
will be the last one at the station

Gorda. your body answers: hello. I’m here. thank you.

they call you brave. you say it’s just the parts of you that you can touch.

they won’t say the word. they prefer thick or curvy or big. you say you want to hear it. like you hear your name.

the word gives you power.

you write it down. hundreds of times. you start saying it to describe yourself. you don’t flinch. others do.